Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?
Because it required a parent's signature.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
my dad wet to go get milk
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
how do you make a emo jump (tell him to go the i roof)
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
