Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home too
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open. Woman aren't human anyways... lol
Papyrus= well come to the underground. sans= how was your falls. Papyrus= g-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out. Sans= give me your balls!
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says: "I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
I like Christmas. It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys. :) yaaaaay 😁
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans
Family size
Once I almost died ill give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job
I asked my kid to give me a hand that motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm
my mom give me your stuff bc u have bad grades me HOW ABOUT MY 5 LITTLE BROTHER I HAVE A- HE HAS f- she lets him play anyway and i dont
If somebody gives you Lemons,cut them in half and do the Juice in his eyes.
Don't give up on your dreams................... keep sleeping
I give these jokes a 9/11
James Bond: vodka martini Bartender: shaken not sterd James Bond: do I look like I give a DAMN
you know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?" How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
how do you know when you're disliked? when they always give you the camera for group photos
Hey can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
your so ugly that when your mama had u she tried to give u away but there was nowhere to give u
