Give jokes
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Memes
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
I give homework.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D