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  • Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

    When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

    Midget

  • I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

    "Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

    "Bugger off!" he shouted back.

    "What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

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  • Technology

  • I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

    Cyclist

  • When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

  • 0
  • Alphabet

  • "There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

    "No, it's 26."

    "Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

    "You're missing one more."

    "I'll give you the D later."

    "....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

    Day

  • Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.

    Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.

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  • Tip

  • Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?

    Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.

  • 0
  • Blowjob

  • My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

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  • Gorilla

  • An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

    "I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

    The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

    "We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

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  • Friend

  • Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

    Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

    Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

    Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

    Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

    Song

  • I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.

    If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.