Give jokes
Why did I give the orphan an iPhone 14?
Because there is no home button.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Give me followers instantly!
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”