Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud
One time, a man got mad at me because i was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on man it was only a couple of bruises!
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare😢😢😢
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like. No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Bully: how is your girlfriend? Me:I don't have one! BULLY: I KNOW! ME:HOW are you parents? *Walks out of orphanage*
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend; and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale
me: I have the body of a 28 year old her: prove it me: (opens freezer)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy
FOR MY GIRLFRIEND AND FRIENDS TO CHAT:)
what's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend? I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it.
my girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a gluestick. she still isn't talking to me
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much. But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
So one time I was with my girlfriend crazy right but we were doing a tictok eye fallow challenge and she pulled up a pick of where Stacy for in to the spider verse and I look some were I shouldn’t and she smacked me and I changed to the rock and you know where she looked wtf right in the no no square and since she was a girl all I could do was sit back and watch
so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
my girlfriend's a two but she's turning 3 to tomorrow
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now. He just moved back in with his mom.
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
