Girlfriend Jokes

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

Hey, who thinks Gwen and Aiden are not dating, and who also thinks this dumb girl named "Zre" is being a dummy? And who thinks Gwen belongs with Prince, aka boyfriend?

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

you forgot something

A conversation between two users. The first message reads 'wybmag'. The second user asks, 'will you be my something girlfriend?' The first user replies, 'of course, I'll be your gf'. The second user then says, 'wow lol'. The first user states, 'So now your my gf', and the second user replies, 'well no'.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Bully: how is your girlfriend? Me:I don't have one! BULLY: I KNOW! ME:HOW are you parents? *Walks out of orphanage*

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

Today sucked my girlfriend got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.