Girlfriend jokes
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
your mom
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
You will never have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."