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My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Memes
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?
Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."