Get jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!

Why do orphans not get family size [items]?

Because they don’t have a family to share with.

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

A project where people get lined up to be changed.

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.