How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
Get Jokes
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.
Why do orphans not get family size [items]?
Because they don’t have a family to share with.
Do nut get in my way.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
