Get jokes

I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!

Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid

Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

Why did the sped kid get expelled?

Because he was tardy.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."