Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Get Jokes
Do nut get in my way.
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
