Get jokes

I never get off on the wrong foot.

Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?

Touch base.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

What's the difference between me and Spongebob?

Spongebob can actually get ripped.