Get jokes
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.