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God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).