Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Get Jokes
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Why do orphans hate playing baseball?
'Cause they can't get a home run.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
