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When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Dark jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!
Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!
http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters
You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
