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What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
chat i found me.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.