Get jokes

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

Hint: he didn’t.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?

Then he gets into treble!

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to skull.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?

'Cause they can't elope.

Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?

Because they always get a hole in one!

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?

To get to Birds Eye.

What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?

Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"