Get jokes

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

How did Hitler get killed?

With a "NEIN" millimeter.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.