Get jokes

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?

The apples actually get picked.

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?

Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.

Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.

Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?

He left the landing lights on.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.

What is an orphan versus orphan competition?

Who will get adopted first?

What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?

Fruits get picked.