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Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?

The flowers actually get picked.

Orphan

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.

Emo people

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

Girl

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Memes

Sex

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

Fight

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate playing baseball?

'Cause they can't get a home run.

Ass

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

WW2

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

Pirate

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

Day

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.