Get jokes
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?