Get jokes
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)