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Orphan

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Orphan

Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.

Orphan

Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.

Rooster

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!

Orphan

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Memes

Girl

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Apple Tree

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

Orphan

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Make-up

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

Popsicle

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

Donkey

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Friend

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Heaven

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.