Get jokes
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.