Get jokes
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
you get
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.