Get jokes
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.