Get jokes

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

Why did the cheetah get sad?

'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.