You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
