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Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.