Get jokes

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Why don’t orphans live in villages?

Because they will get abandoned.

Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.