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What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Monke

What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?

DeterMIENATION

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

How do you get a retard out of a tree?

Wave at them.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!