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What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joe: Why?

Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jimmy: Knock knock.

Joe: Who’s there?

Jimmy: It’s the chicken.

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?

The apples get picked.