Get jokes

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

Why did the chickens cross the road?

To get to KFC.

Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.