Get jokes

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

Because they have a break down.