Get jokes
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Memes
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!