Get jokes

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

Where do orphans get their stuff from?

The reject shop.

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.