Get jokes

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?

To get some plane bread.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Why do homeless people commit crimes?

They get a bed in jail.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.