Get jokes
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...