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Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.