Get jokes
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?