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What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.