Get jokes
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!