Get jokes

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Dark humor is like life:

Not everyone gets it.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Why don't dwarfs have cars?

Because they can't get in the door.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.