Get jokes
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.