Get jokes
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Memes
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.