Get jokes
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Memes
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."