Get jokes

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

Why did the chickens cross the road?

To get to KFC.

How do mountains get big?

They go trick-or-treating!

Why don't dwarfs have cars?

Because they can't get in the door.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.

Why did the doctor get mad?

Because he was losing his patients.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.