Get jokes

Why don’t orphans live in villages?

Because they will get abandoned.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...

...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.