Get jokes

What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joe: Why?

Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jimmy: Knock knock.

Joe: Who’s there?

Jimmy: It’s the chicken.