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Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?

The type that gets raped a lot.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

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