Get jokes
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Dislike this! Let's get to 1000 dislikes!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!