What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in Trouble?" Kid named Teacher:
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one get one free
There was a fish looking for a great meal, he looks above him and See's a fly. He thought ' If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal ' long story short A pussy gets wet