A block of gold walked into a bar, the bartender said ‘AU, get out!”
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
GO ON THE QUINTILLIONAIRE MORNING ROUTINE NOW!
1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat 4. Get out of bed 5. Have breakfast
me: i have depression
someone: u should get out more! go outside
me: *goes to the beach* now its a tropical depression
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Mom: you need to grow up. your so immature
Me: *glares* get out of my castle ....
Mom: it's a pillow fort
Me: why cant i have an imagination!?
Mom: your almost 19 years old
Me: not good enough ... OUT!
why could'nt the man get out of the maize maze?
he got corn-ered
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the childs body.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house. So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard, one said “ what tree?” I replied “you’ll know when you get here”
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
I'd make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.
Bf:Hey what ya doing?
Gf:just lying in bed
Bf:just lying in bed?
Gf:and eating cereal
Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you...?
Gf:eat my cereal
Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there
Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
two pedo's are on the beach one pedo said hey get out of my son
a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery
boss: "we have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "how?"
surgeon: "I thought to do your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "get out"
Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..
I might not be able to make my bed but at least I can get out of it.
if you get out the shower clean how does your towel get dirty?
My biology teacher told us “get out nice and sharp colored pencils”. Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself
