Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
The earth is flat.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
America.
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
