Gender jokes

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Why is life like penises?

Women make it hard.

I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.

There are only women's rights causes because they leave you.

What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?

Accountability.

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Women were flying the plane.

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

Bippity Boppity,

Women are property.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snow girl?

Snowballs.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.