Gender jokes

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Why is the gay kid gay?

Because he likes men.

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?

The man says, "I have everything I need."

The woman says, "I love everything I have."

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

Your mum gay, lol.