Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common? They both squeal when you throw them.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
why did hitler kill himself? because the air was gas
What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
