Gas jokes
Fart a lot.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Farts.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
Fart <3
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Q: What did the butt say to the face?
A: It farted!
I farted.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.