Industry jokes

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Why don't rappers ever become bankers?

Because they always break the BARS!

Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?

They couldn't beet the Nazis.

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

"A satisfactory."

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?

There was nothing left but de-brie.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

"Dababy midget porn."

I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.