Gas jokes

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

Why did Hitler kill himself?

He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?

A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Why was Hitler broke?

The gas prices are outrageous.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.