Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Q: What did the butt say to the face?
A: It farted!
i farted
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Your mama is so fat by the time I swerved to miss her with the car I ran out of gas.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
