Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
Future Jokes
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
Someday you'll go far.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
You will never have a girlfriend.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
