What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
Best website ever 4 chair.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
