Furniture jokes
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Gotta go fast
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.