I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
Best website ever 4 chair.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
I shit on your furniture.
