Furniture jokes
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?
Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
Gotta go fast
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!