Furniture jokes
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
I sat on a chair.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.