Furniture jokes
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
One time I ate a chair.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.