When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
Yo Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It Pants
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her? She left the plunger in the toilet she put door knobs on all the walls and she rearranged the furniture
