Furniture

Furniture jokes

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”