Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What did the cow say to the leather chair? “Hi Mom!”
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop CRACKING UP
Yo Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It Pants
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer? The drawer has papers.
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her? She left the plunger in the toilet she put door knobs on all the walls and she rearranged the furniture
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark, that instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed? His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker🖕that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture
How did the blind boy's parents punish him Rearrange the furniture
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
how to blind kids get punished? By moving the furniture around the house
one thing led to another, now i have a new patio
What did one chair say to the other? "I'm so bummed out!"
I can't decide if i like rocking chairs or not..I keep going back and forth on them.
Why do orphans prefer ikea to the Home Depot? Because the Home Depot provides supplies for home. IKEA just provides furniture
