Furniture

Furniture Jokes

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”