Furniture

Furniture jokes

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

IKEA

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.