Funny

Funny jokes

So, Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's. So he goes home and asks his mom, who's cooking, "What's the first letter of the ABC's?" He asks, and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!"

So then he walks to his sister, who's singing in the shower, and asks her, "What's the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" She responds with "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" Then he walks over to his brother, who's watching Batman, and asks, "What's the 3rd letter of the ABC's?" and his brother responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then he proceeds to walk to his dad, who's watching football, and asks, "Dad, what's the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" Then he walks to his grandma, who's cooking buns, and asks her, "What's the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" Then Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day, and the teacher says to her class, "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's?" Johnny, of course, raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him. Then he says, "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" Then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says, "Young man, are you ready to go to the principal's office?" Then he proceeds to say, "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principal's office. Then she says, "What's your name, son?" He responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then the principal asks, "How many spankin's, boy?!" He responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" and after that, he runs out of the principal's office while yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

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    • I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

    But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

    9 months before I was born,

    I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

    FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

    Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

    Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

    Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

    Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

    Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

    Oh God By Dixie Rect.

    Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

    Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

    Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

    How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

    Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

    The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

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    • FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

    Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.

    What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.

    Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.

    The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.

    Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.

    When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

    So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.