Fucking jokes

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?

Me & my dad!

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!

Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.

Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!

Luigi: Where did they go?

Mario: To the left.

Luigi: Fuck

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.