My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Yo barber fucked so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
