Fucking jokes

What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

Having sex while camping is fucking in-tents.

Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.

Fucking camper!

Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Why are gay guys so rude?

Because they’re fucking assholes.

How do you fuck a cow?

Find the nearest Karen.

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?

Me & my dad!

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.