Fucking

Fucking jokes

Skeleton

    • What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

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    Cancer

    • "I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

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    Fucking memes

    Priest

    • There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

    The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

    The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

    The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

    The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

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    CEO

    • Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

    A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

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    ADHD

    • They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

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    • Incest

    • I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

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    Depression

    • If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

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    • Daughter

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

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    Suicide

    • Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

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