Fucking jokes
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.