Fucking Jokes

My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side I crashed the car and fucked my trainer

*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"

Dog: "That's pretty sexist"

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)

Why are day dudes so rude...

Because their fucking ass holes

WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU ILL GLADY FUCK YOU;]

Which on would be better to fuck a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?

Yo barber fucked so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

Yo barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a plants vs zombies map and that shii fit perfectly

Are you getting tired of life yes then call 180 go fuck yourself its not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself its not our problem.com

I heard life was a gift. Well I hope they kept the receipt, Because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

what where paul walkers last words

idk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREEE"

Jack and Jill wanted some pills So they went to the dealer he saw they were kids and said fuck this shit then jacked rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth pills

can’t be bothered with jokes, me and syd drake fuck 24/7

Fuck man I just need a fuckin loli to walk all over me

Mario:Princess Peach got kidnapped again! Luigi:Where did they go? Mario:To the left Luigi:Fuck

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on people look at him and think... Aw fuck

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? One's alive at the bottom. What's even worse than THAT? It eats it's way out. Wait it gets worse... It goes back for seconds. Just one more I swear... It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.