God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Fucking Jokes
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
