Fucking

Fucking jokes

Dora

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Girl

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

Lottery Ticket

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Dog

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Ad

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

Person 2: “Seven.”

Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

(Based on an encounter I had recently)

Memes

Life

I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

Pill

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Song

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

Tunnel

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

Dog

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Imposter

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Kidnapping

Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!

Luigi: Where did they go?

Mario: To the left.

Luigi: Fuck

Donkey

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Baby

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

One's alive at the bottom.

What's even worse than THAT?

It eats it's way out.

Wait it gets worse...

It goes back for seconds.

Just one more I swear...

It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.

Airplane

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Wife

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.