Fucking jokes

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they're fucking assholes.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

Person 2: “Seven.”

Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

(Based on an encounter I had recently)

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com