Fucking jokes
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.