Friendship jokes
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Run, bestie, run!
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Who was Goldilocks' best friend?
Goldie.
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
Me and the boys are cool.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”