Friendship jokes

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

Run, bestie, run!

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Me and the boys are cool.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?

Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!

Neona (😁): Agreed!

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.