Friendship Jokes

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

Why did the tomato cross the road?

To ketchup with his friends on the other side.

I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.

What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?

gay now, heterosexual later.

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says: "Just take a minute and think about Riley's retarded hair cut. Shut up look at your greasy ass hair." The next message says: "Have you not released I don't give a small singular shit about my hair." The following message says: "There's probably shit in your hair." Finally, the last messages read: "It looks better than whatever dead raccoon has been super glued onto your forehead. But Yeah probably."

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.