Me: hey do you want to see my grandma. Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize your in a crematorium.
my suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonalds.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.
my new girl friend is a porn star she would probably kill me if she found out
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Friend:Im gonna go ask out my crush Me: fake sneezes* Sry im alergic to bullshit
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt
Husband: I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1."Hang" out with me Or 2."Jump" 1 times? Me...e-eh?...Why not both?????we could just "Jump while "Hanging" out right?
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What's that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Why did Sally fall out of the swing She had no arms Why couldn’t she get up Because she had no friends.
friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! i'll be in court.
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
