Friend jokes

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?

Act like a nut.

When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.

What do you call my friends?...

Short.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?

Because it’s a fungi.

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

Drink tea with friend game night.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.