Best Friend Jokes

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all! :D

best friend makes 9/11 joke

you: hey my dad was inside the tower

best friend: im sorry

you: I always knew he was a great pilot

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”

so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger

19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure" he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?' "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

knock knock who's there? depression.. that's my best friend.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for halloween. :)

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.

my best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS

Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.

What do u call a grown up with ur sister, ur best friend

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I cant help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.