What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

knock knock who’s there? depression… that’s my best friend.

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all! :D

My best friend ran away with my wife I really miss him

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

What’s the difference between me and my best friends

At least one of us has a house

I love you you too I love you you have a good night love 💕 love 💕 I love you you and your mom love ❤️ love ❤️ you have the best friends love 💕 you have fun love 💕 is it good you you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school 🏫 I have fun at home 🏡

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing.

what do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he’s your friend, you don’t have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

So I stayed at my friends house for a few days and I was like omg why so I am going home because I’m going to my best friend house

Things said by racist aliens:

“Some of my best friends are Green.” “I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.” “You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.” “We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!” “Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.” “You 2-headed people are so stupid!” “No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.” “Get out of my store you grigger!” “The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

Things said by racist aliens:

“Some of my best friends are Green.”

“I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.”

“You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.”

“We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!”

“Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.”

“You 2-headed people are so stupid!”

“No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.”

“Get the hell out of my store you grigger!”

“The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

Who’s hitlers best friend? naz me

A sad guy called “nun” is crying next to the grave of his best friend called “month” , “month” got killed by a gay guy and after that “nun” got homophobic.

While “nun” 's sitting next to “month” 's grave he heard a guy asks his friend : 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On ? 》 , “Nun” get angry and he asks that guy : 《 What did you just said to your friend ? 》 , the guy answers : 《 A game on , why ? 》

“Nun” kills the two guys .

🤔

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f…ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".

Maishah the poo turned into a fart which is the big fart monsters best friend this is her 🐷🐷🐷🐷🤢🤢🤢💩💩💩💩👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🐽🐽🐽

if best friend tell u that he gay for u what do u do tell well u tell hi oh nice gay ass

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and fucking die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".

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